Aging and sexuality F.A.Q.

Does sex change as you get older?

Just like anything else in life, sex is highly individual, and it changes over time. How it changes has a lot to do with your relationship and the needs and nuances of the partners. Sexual expression is highly individual, and every couple has different ways of expressing it with each other. And while sexual function may change physically as we age, it doesn’t have to be any less pleasurable.

The actual issues surrounding mature sexuality have still not been openly discussed, making this a difficult question to answer – there aren’t many studies around to look at! Suffice it to say that people get less physical with sex as they age, but may become far more intimate as communication increases.

What physical changes can I expect?

Couples often find new ways to stimulate each other, including videos and reading erotic stories to one another. Communication can include things like open discussions about desires and fantasies, which can often result in the fulfilment of long held desires. This also falls into the area of experimentation, when one partner may have wanted to try something new, and never before voiced their interest.

Although both men and women undergo physical changes as they age, the change for women can also result in a shift away from them viewing themselves as being sexual, although this is often learned socially rather than from physical causes.

Women will find that it takes them longer to become sexually aroused once they are past menopause, meaning that more attention to foreplay is required to ‘get in the mood.’ But this is perfectly normal. Women can also expect a slight drop in libido as estrogen levels fall off, and a slight decrease in vaginal lubrication during sexual encounters. Use of lubricants and stimulants such as Vigorelle are recommended to alleviate these types of issues.

Men will find that with age their libido also decreases slightly, although this should not prevent them from becoming aroused or from having a functional erection. Issues like lost erection strength and lowered libido are currently handled either through prescription drugs, medical intervention, and herbal supplements such as VigRX.

Can illness affect sex?

It can. As people age, there are many conditions that can and do affect their sex lives. Conditions like Parkinson’s disease, diabetes, and Peyronie’s disease can cause erectile problems, as can conditions affecting the circulatory and cardiovascular system. Some drugs that may be taken for heart conditions can negatively affect sexual function.

Psychological effects can also result from disease, including a loss in confidence, embarrassment over a condition, and even depression. These psychological results of the initial illness can have an overlapping effect onto sexual function. So it is important to address these concerns up front while treating the physical health conditions, as they tend to have a greater effect on us as we age.  

How do I overcome chronic pain and still have good sex?

When chronic pain becomes a regular part of your life, whether from injury or age, your sexuality among other interests can very easily become something you feel forced to put aside. You may feel less desire, or less desirable to your partner, and the effects of this can be devastating. Separate beds or separate rooms are one common solution. But what happens to the sex when this becomes a way of life?

The first step is renewing intimacy. It’s important to begin communicating with your partner about the situation, about your thoughts and feelings, to get the concerns out on the table. Withholding fears and concerns can allow them to build into problems that become even harder to address later on.

The second step is in exploring new ways to have satisfying sexual contact with one another. Relaxation exercises can be helpful to start with to help in reducing your levels of anxiety. Explore your options; look for sexual positions that allow both partners to achieve orgasm without pain. Exploration is the goal, and rebuilt intimacy will allow you both to better enjoy intimate encounters.

Is it possible to have sex without intercourse?

Absolutely! The fist thing that experts suggest is to try oral sex, which can be a viable alternative when one partner is less physically able, which often happens in later years. Sex can remain as emotionally satisfying, and for some, become even more satisfying as the years progress. The important thing is in communication of what you need and want from your partner. This is how you gain physical and emotional fulfillment from your partner.

Is there anything I can do to “turn back time” on my sexual performance?

There are a number of things you can do to improve your sexual performance as time goes on, and one tremendous secret. The first move is to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Taking walks and getting exercise is critical to staying well, as are good nutrition and the avoidance of unhealthy habits. Quitting things like smoking, drinking, and taking drugs (both over the counter and ‘recreational’ drugs) can do wonders for your sexual performance.

The big secret is in using what the body already has for this purpose – the hormone HGH. Using the body’s natural hormone cycle is an extremely powerful way to ‘turn back time’ for your body, and to keep your tissues looking and functioning like you did when you were young. The best way to increase the body’s production of HGH, or human growth hormone is to undertake a weight training schedule. Weight training is one of the ways to increase your body’s output of HGH. You can also take supplements like GenF20 HGH that contain ingredients that help your body create larger amounts of growth hormone.

Is ALL low sex drive a problem?

Is it normal for guys to experience a loss of sexual desire and, better yet, is it considered a sexual dysfunction?

Yes, both men and women normally go through short periods of lost desire, and no, it isn’t necessarily a sexual dysfunction, even if you’re getting older. If someone is feeling a loss of libido on a regular basis or for an extended time, they are probably experiencing a type of sexual dysfunction. Short bouts are often mental, meaning they are caused by psychological factors like stress, but there are also lifestyle choices that can result in temporary issues. Change a couple of bad habits for a while and chances are you’ll get your drive back. A worn out body doesn’t want to reproduce! If your drive doesn’t return, see a physician, or look into herbal libido enhancers (VigRX for men, Provestra for women) as they are effective without a prescription, and have no side effects.

Can social problems affect my sexual desire?

Of course! Your social environment plays a huge role in your sexual desires. Your emotional state is closely linked to libido. A hit to the ego, or an emotional blow can easily ‘set you off sex’ for a time, especially with age. More subtle influences include boredom with your sexual partner, stress, or being uncomfortable with your body, all of which can reduce your desire for sex. Older people are often more prone to these factors only because of lower hormone levels to begin with, so older partners need to be more aware of each others needs in other areas of life in order to support a healthy sex life.

I’m older and widowed – is it ok for me to look for a new partner?

Everyone needs to be loved and treasured by someone. It’s an important part of our natural existence, and without it we tend to become unhealthy in body and mind. These are needs that, although very powerful when young, do not diminish with age. We still need the love and attention of other people as we grow older, even just the companionship of a good friend. You’ve probably seen it a hundred times; those who don’t have partners usually get by with good friends, or even pets. Companionship is a need that must be filled.

You may not need someone to be your partner’s replacement, especially if you have feelings of guilt or embarrassment about having a new friend. This person may just be a friend to watch TV with. Just be open with your feelings and make sure to communicate how you feel to them, especially if you have feelings of betrayal. Talking helps. And you also may consider seeking the assistance of a therapist for how to move a new relationship forward.

What should you do if you’re embarrassed about asking for help?

You may feel embarrassed, and many others have felt the exact same way. The trick is to realize that you are the only person who will feel badly about seeking help. Those trained in assisting people through times like these are interested in seeing you do well. They have training and experience with others who have gone through the same trials as you.  Also, there is nothing wrong about seeking partnerships through all the same channels as younger people may use today – for example the Internet – it’s all there to be used, after all!