It's a simple fact: sex
changes as we age. When we're young we have tons of
energy but no experience. Once we're older we gain
that experience, but trade off the 'rabbit response'
(well some of us do). But there's a lot more to it
than just that.
Many things affect us as
we age, both physical and psychological. Hormonal
changes can alter our levels of sexual desire over
various stages of life. Testosterone production can
decrease with various health conditions as well as
being the side effect of many heart and blood
pressure medications. In these cases it's not the
age that matters, but the hormone testosterone that
needs to be replenished. Replace the testosterone,
and many men see reinforced sex drive and penile
performance.
Your energy levels also
change over time. When you are a teenager with
'raging hormones' you experience sex at different
energy levels than what you experience in your mid
fifties. Although the style of sex may change, as
well it probably should if just for safety reasons,
the quality can even increase as we better learn our
bodies' responses (and those of our partners).
Not only do our bodies
change over time, but a lifetime of experiences can
change what sex means to us over time, and at
various stages in our lives. It's natural to feel
changes to how we view sex, and what we get out of
it. But while some things change, others remain
steady. Our family and friends, who helped mould us
as we grew, helped seed many values and beliefs that
we carry through adulthood into our elder years.
Looking into the past,
today's seniors and even our later-middle-age group
grew up in different times than we all currently
live in. The differences between those days and
modern times are simply huge. Values, beliefs, and
social attitudes have drastically changed, and so
have many of our attitudes towards sex and
sexuality.
For example, women
who grew up pre-1950 are totally familiar with
the effects of sexual discrimination. Where some
of these women made it through the social
barriers, there were still professional and even
legal barriers that discriminated against them.
These
early experiences had a lasting impact on how this
generation viewed sex, what they got out of sex, and
even what they used sex for. Younger generations
have grown up with a different set of messages, and
will definitely affect their attitudes towards sex
differently as they age.
Basically, there are more than just physical changes
that affect sex as we age. The social and
psychological influences in our lives also affect
the quality of sex as we age, as do our
relationships. Marriages and committed relationships
also change our outlook on sex. The good news is
that we are programmed to keep performing well into
our later years, if at a slower rate than before.
The secret is in keeping healthy and active.
Use if or lose it –
sexual maintenance
It's the same with sex
as it is with anything else, if you don't use it,
you'll lose it. The big key to maintaining your
sexual performance is just like physical fitness of
any other kind, repeat your performance regularly,
and your body responds by keeping you fit for the
task. So the best way to maintain your sexual
capacity as you age is to just keep having sex!
Easier said than done,
you say? Not really, when you consider all the help
that's available through both modern medical science
and from what we know about the psychology of sex.
What if your partner is unavailable?
Self-stimulation (masturbation) is common and poses
no health risks or side effects.
A couple of other
considerations should include appropriate positions,
adequate use of foreplay, medications, and permanent
medical conditions.
Appropriate positions
Conditions like early arthritis are a reality for
many folks, even in their middle years. If physical
discomfort is an issue for you, consider looking
into different sexual positions that may improve the
situation. A little research in this area can be
very fruitful, especially when you can discover a
new position that satisfies both partners while
still being comfortable for both. Here's a quick
tip: try putting pillows or cushions under the hips…
Adequate
foreplay
Issues like vaginal
dryness can make many women partners unresponsive,
even when they wish otherwise. By spending a little
more time on foreplay many of these issues can be
passed by. Using lubes or creams can increase
lubrication, making sexual contact more welcome, and
even more exciting, as the application of these
products can act as a form of foreplay all on its
own. Some of these have been specifically formulated
with herbal sexual stimulant formulas added in
(products such as
Vigorelle)
which can add even further dimensions.
Medications
Many medications can have a negative effect on
testosterone production, which can drastically
reduce men's sex drive and penile performance
regardless of age. Other medications can also affect
sexual performance and libido. Although drugs like
Viagra have been created to help with erectile
dysfunction, many heart and blood-pressure
medications (like nitroglycerine) interact very
badly with drugs like Viagra, even resulting in
heart attack in some cases. To avoid problems, look
to alternatives like asking your physician to
prescribe a different class of medication, or look
into herbal treatments like
VigRX that
have few (if any) side effects and are safe to use
with most heart medications.
Permanent medical conditions The effects of physical
alterations due to illness or surgeries (e.g.
colostomies, mastectomies, etc.) can affect sexual
performance. In these cases communication with your
partner becomes important to help remove feelings of
guilt, embarrassment, or fear, which can often have
further reaching effects than the procedures
themselves.
To sum it up, there are
differences in how we approach sex and how we engage
in sex as we age, but there are also benefits.
Experience and education can get us much more out of
our later sexual experiences, and as long as we're
physically careful, and tend to our sexual health,
partners can continue to have satisfying sex well
into their senior years.
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